Begin and Begin Again

I stole this title from renown horseman and author, Denny Emerson, because it so succinctly summarizes a life of a horseman. We start and fail or falter, and sometimes we succeed and begin a new goal. It also describes how CrowFeather came into being.

Jeff and I spent the first decade of our marriage in polo, he as a professional player, I as a green horse trainer and Jeff’s groom. We bought, trained, played and sold some wonderful horses in those years. Parenthood and the economic downturn in 2008 ended that nomadic and rather golden era of our lives.

Begin again.

Playing polo for twenty years in five nations left Jeff’s body feeling old crashes every time he rode, but I continued to ride young horses, and run barrels. We taught our son to ride, and we began operating a farrier service. Being a farrier in South Texas in the summer is not always a fun proposition, especially working on ranches. Over the years on countless occasions, I have been hot and dusty working on some half-broke colt under the sparse shade of a mesquite tree and generally feeling sorry for myself, when a breeze would stir and I would notice the wonderful smells of grass and horse and feel the earth around me, suddenly realizing I was one of the most free and fortunate humans on earth. It seems like nearly always in those moments of grounding and gratitude, I could hear crows or doves calling. Crows symbolize spiritual freedom, earthy and wild things, and days spent with horses to me, thus the origin of the name CrowFeather.

I didn’t have world-class horses. I had cheap or free cast-offs I had fixed. A few were pretty good horses and they were performing at about the peak of their potential. At medium-sized races, I was the one to beat. At bigger races, I was outclassed by horses I couldn’t afford. Jeff and I had a nice clientele that relied on us for our horsemanship as well as farrier services. But every horse looked to me like a book I had already read more than once. I didn’t feel like I was contributing much to the world and I was bored with horses.

So, as a 48-year-old female, I applied to the police academy, managed to survive the physical training among male military veterans in their twenties, and became a Texas Peace Officer. Four years later, while working as a county deputy, I was caught in the crossfire between an honest sheriff and a corrupt county government. Frightened by threats from the county prosecutor and with a broken heart, I resigned from my job and went to the barn.Begin again. My horses were not the competitors they were before I became a cop, and I certainly was not the rider, but I had horses to soothe the wounds of corruption. Old clients appeared asking me to ride their horses, and suddenly I was back in the business of training horses.

Jeff and I invested in our barn to accommodate more horses and create a more family-friendly environment. Crows cawed on the summer breeze and the concept of CrowFeather Stables was born.

My sister, Sarita, who is another untamed product of the same Texas Big Bend region ranch-raising that I received and has been involved in horses all over the American West, made my little CrowFeather world complete when she came to join us at the barn.

My role became all the riding and training horses at all levels. Sarita joined me in teaching riding lessons and conducting her own vaulting program, and Jeff is the glue that keeps it all together!

Begin, and begin again, but never stop exploring!